1.12 Smile, Even Though Your Heart Is Aching

Credits: The poses used in this chapter are the Depression pose pack by Chan, 5 Simple Male Poses by andhisrabbits, Male Pose Pack no. 19 by Blakc, and Don’t Be Sad, Baby by IMHO.

Finally, the end has come to generation one! I would’ve had this to you all a lot sooner, but my game went on the fritz again for a bit, but I managed to resolve all the problems I been having all along this generation. Although, I did lose a lot of my CC because it was corrupted, so the house will look a little different this time. Anywho, this chapter is really long. It has plenty of pictures and a lot of words. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and are excited to begin the next generation! 🙂

Warning: Slight nudity and profanity in this chapter.

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..::Declan’s POV::..

Nothing in life could never prepare me for the things that happened these past couple of years. The expectancy of my children growing up and moving on with their lives were inevitable, but I thought I would at least have a lifetime of happiness. I just want what we all want: a comfortable couch, a nice beverage, a weekend of no distractions, and a book that will stop time, lift me out of my quotidian existence and alter my thinking forever. But that wasn’t going to happen now. Not without her.

It wasn’t until after she gave birth prematurely when we found out she was sick. So sick that her body couldn’t sustain the baby’s life. His name was going to be Ezra…but that didn’t seem to matter much to me anymore. Nothing mattered to me anymore. All I wanted was for my wife to get better. But instead, all she could do was spend her days laying on the couch and stare off into an oblivion. Depression slowly overtaking her well-being, thus making her even more sick as time continued onward. Nothing I did helped either. It was as if I wasn’t even there.

After a few months of being home after the death of our son, it wasn’t long before Corrina was back at the hospital again.  She was always weak, tired, and dizzy; but the moment she collapsed in the kitchen was the final straw. Now here I was, alone with two devastated teenagers whose perpetual silence from their own grieving pain made the house seem even more unpleasant than the hospital itself.

I felt hot as I woke up and I placed a hand on my forehead to wipe off little beads of sweat. I tossed the heavy blanket aside and sat up, planting both feet firmly to the ground. Feeling the coolness beneath my feet, I sat in silence; taking in the early morning light as it shone in through the abundance of windows that cascaded alongside our main wall. I always hated that, but Corrina always loved waking up to sunlight, so I forcefully swallowed my ill feelings towards the brilliance of the sun and endured it for her. One of the many sacrifices of being married, I guess.

After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I arose from my bed and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. I pulled my clothes off and dropped them to the floor as I turned on the shower and the water sprayed vigorously through the shower head. I decided to take a cold shower to cool off and let the water hit against my chest. The strains of the previous months had taken its toll on me–not only mentally, but physically too–and I could feel my muscles relaxing as I let the water hit the back of my neck and shoulders.

Walking through the hallway, I could hear the kids in Max’s bedroom. I knocked on the door and waited for the invitation to come inside. “What’s up guys?” I asked sympathetically. Max stood next to his sister as she continued to look through Max’s telescope.

“Nothing much,” said Max nonchalantly with a shrug of his shoulders.

I smiled at my two kids and I walked further into the room. “I need to talk with you two,” I said nervously as I gestured for them to have a seat. Max propped himself up onto his bed and leaned against the wall and Aubrey reluctantly followed suit. knowing where this conversation was going. “You both know that your mother is not getting any better…and it looks like she’s not going to get any better.” I stopped briefly to watch their reactions. Max and Aubrey bowed their heads in silence, allowing me to continue. “We need to start making arrangements. With Max graduating high school in a month, eventually it will just be you and me, Aubrey.” Aubrey frowned, but kept her head bowed. “My job is pretty demanding as you both know, so I won’t be around as much. So I’ve asked my sister to come and stay with us for awhile. At least until you graduate from high school, Aubrey.”

Aubrey looked up at me and quickly nodded before looking back down again. She held onto her leg as she propped it onto the side board of the bed. Max propped his chin on his bended knee and sighed. “How much longer do you think she has, dad?” he asked.

I furrowed my brow and massaged the tension out of my forehead. “Well son…The doctor said it can be any day now. I’m headed over there right now. Do you guys want to come?”

The kids looked at each other blankly, yet almost seem to know what each other were thinking. “We’ll meet you there,” said Max, still looking over at his distressed younger sister.

I nodded, letting them know that I understood and got up from the bench made out of skateboards that Corrina and I bought for Max two Christmases ago. I walked over to the door and turned to look at them. I smiled to the both of them reassuringly and stepped out, closing the door behind me.

The hospital was only two blocks away from the house, which made it easier for me to get to Corrina in case of an emergency. The hospital was big and the city’s only source to receive medical attention, so if you lived off of the main island, you had to take a boat to get here, and then a taxi. Cape Garner wasn’t really the best at providing transportation, so I made sure to have all of my properties on the main island.

I stepped inside the hospital and headed over to the counter to check in. “I’m here to see my wife,” I stated when I was next in line.
“Wife’s name?” he asked. I told him her name and he entered it into his computer. Then he handed me a name badge and told me which room she was in as if I didn’t already know. I’ve only been coming here for the past three months for crying out loud!

I went through the double doors and walked down the long white-walled corridors. The smell of plastic hit my nostrils and for a split second, I wanted to vomit. I hated hospitals. I hated the drabness of it as if a sick patient would not be able to appreciate some kind of art and color once in awhile. I hated the solemness of the doctors, even though I understood that they couldn’t show much emotion to keep the patients sane. Most of all, I hated the sheets and robes. Someone once puked, shitted, and died on or in them and yet they expected patients to wear them over and over again. I don’t care how clean they are, it’s the thought of them enduring such agony is what makes it vile.

Immediately upon opening the door to her room, I was met with only the light of the outdoors beaming through her windows. Corrina laid on her bed fast asleep and I tip-toed inside, shutting the door softly before heading towards the chair positioned beside her bed. The beeps and other random noises from the machines filled the silent room and I quietly wished that the television was on to drown it all out.

I sat silently as I watched her sleep. She seemed peaceful, but I knew she was in pain. I wanted to scoop her into my arms and take her away from here where she could rest without all of the poking or prodding. She needed to be with her family. It’s hopeless. She would die anyway. My mind went back to the day we met back at her mother’s old house in Belle Harbor. She was so young back then and full of hopes and dreams. Now here she was…on her death bed at the age of 40. She was still too young. Why did this have to happen to her? She was born into tragedy and now she would die in tragedy. It wasn’t fair and the very thought angered me the more I thought about it.

..::Corrina’s POV::..

The preceding months that led me to here were without a shadow of a doubt very bleak and painful. The last thing I would have suspected was to die at an early age, but in spite of everything, there isn’t a whole lot I could truly complain about. I had to admit, after moving to Cape Garner, my life has been considerably pleasant. I was honestly grateful for everything my husband has done for me and taking in Max as his own was the most incredible thing anyone could have ever done for me. He’s been such a great father to him as well as Brook and Aubrey and I couldn’t have asked for more.

So my life was about to end and I was okay with that. I could see the hurt in Declan’s eyes and I understood. I would be hurting too if my spouse was dying right in front of my eyes. But I didn’t want this precious time of mine to be spent over tears; I wanted smiles and laughter. Was I wrong for wanting that? Was it fair for me to ask my loved ones to pretend to feel something they cannot feel at this time?

My eyes opened slowly, readjusting to the light that shone right above me. How long had I been asleep? I stretched out my arms and felt my elbows and shoulders pop, releasing the strain off of my muscles. I then looked over to my left and saw him; sitting in the chair observing me in silence. God I hated that. He acts as if I’m a bomb ready to explode. In spite of my irritation, I smile at him and he smiles back. The pain still resting upon his eyes as he looked at me with love and concerned. It saddened me to see him like this. He was always so joyous and carefree. Now I was leaving him with this heavy invisible burden that preceded to make residence upon his shoulders.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

“Fine, I guess,” I replied with a smile. “How is everything? How are the kids?”

“They’re…coping,” he replied carefully; trying to find the right word to describe the situation. “Max and Aubrey will be here soon and Brook…” his words went silent as he looked away awkwardly, trying desperately to find the words to say.

“I know. It’s too hard for her. She’s already lost her real mother and now she’s losing me too. I understand. Please tell her that for me?” I pleaded.

He sighed in defeat and nodded his head. “I will.”

I rubbed my face and yawned. I could feel the weakness in my body as every movement I made took effort. I readjusted my body to make myself more comfortable and look over at Declan again. “Don’t be sad, Declan. Everything will turn out alright.”

“Yeah? How’s that, Corrina? My wife and the mother of my children is dying and now I’m left with a grief-stricken teenage daughter to raise on my own while the other two will be away trying to find themselves without their mother! Nothing about this will be alright and it never will! How can you be so optimistic anyway? Do you want to die?”

“Do I want to die? Seriously?” I asked him. Anger began to rise inside of me, filling me with rage. “Ever since I found out the reason why we lost our son is because of me, I’ve felt nothing but anger and bitterness! Do I want to die? No, of course not! But I’ve come to terms with it because I have to and because I have no other choice. I hate the fact I have to leave you and the kids! I hate the fact that I’m in pain all the time! I hate the fact that our son had to die because my body was too weak to keep him! But I can’t dwell on those things now. I have to stay positive for the kids’ sake and for mine because right now, my happiness is all I have to look forward to every damn day! ‘Do you want to die?’ What kind of stupid ass question is that?!” I glared at my husband as he looked away. I could tell he felt ashamed for what he said and I understood why he felt that way, but he had to know how I was feeling and what was going through my head each and every day.

Declan rubbed a single tear out of his eye and glared at the floor. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, as if he was mostly saying it to himself. “It’s just really hard to get use to the fact that I’m losing you.”

“You’ll never lose me, honey. I’ll always be with you. Just look into the eyes of our children–Brook even. You’ll see me somewhere in their faces, personalities, expressions…”

Declan took a deep breath and sighed. It broke my heart to know his heart was breaking. “I love you, Corrina,” he said as he took my hand and placed it in his own. A smile appearing on his face as he lovingly looked deep into my eyes.

“I love you, Declan.”

..::Max’s POV::..

It had been awhile since I was last at the hospital. Aubrey had just been born and dad took both Brook and myself to come see her and mom. I remember being very little and dad had to carry me in his arms so that I didn’t wander away and Brook remained by his side. When we walked into mom’s room, she had a smile a mile wide as she held a brand new baby in her arms. Her face glowed with radiance still from her pregnancy. She was so beautiful and I loved seeing her happy.

She had the same smile when we stepped inside her room, although the glow from her face had long faded away. Her face grew pale and her eyes grew tired. The life that lived inside her was depleting by the minute and it was now hard to look at her. “Hi, my babies,” she greeted happily; her voice frail and weak.

“Hi, Mom,” we both greeted, forcing a smile on our faces. We each bent down to kiss her on the cheek. She looked up at us and smiled again. I shut my eyes and sighed while Aubrey asked how she was doing. I hated seeing her like this and by the look on dad’s face, I could tell he was thinking the same thing.

We stayed all afternoon chatting about the past and what Aubrey and I had planned for our futures. It was hard to talk about things like that. What’s the point in discussing the future if you’re not going to apart of it? I didn’t really have plans anyway. I just wanted to escape this world and die with her. However, I had to be here for my family; more so for Aubrey and that’s what I planned on doing.

After a short while of silence, Mom then began discussing what she wanted for ourselves and Brook, who chose not to come. “Make sure whomever you decide to be with, that it’s for love and nothing less,” she stated. All I could do was occasionally nod my head in agreement. My future was empty at the moment and I didn’t want to think about where it may lead me to. “Have lots of babies!” she exclaimed with a chuckle. I smiled at her and once again nodded my head. Aubrey stood next to me and stared out the window. Her arms folded as she fought to keep her anger, desperation, and tears in tact. She was hurting just as much as I was and yet there was nothing I nor my father could do about it.

Mom’s body suddenly jerked violently as she started to cough. Dad helped her get comfortable once again as he fluffed the pillows behind her and gave her sips of  water. She smiled at us sheepishly as she laid back onto her fluffed pillows. “I love you guys,” she said, barely above a whisper. “Each and every one of you.” Aubrey and I looked at each other wide-eyed and told her we loved her as well. “Max, I love your compassion, your friendly disposition, your protective instincts with your sisters, and your kindness.” A lump in my throat began to develop and I fought back the tears that threatened to come. “Aubrey,” she began as she smiled adoringly at my sister. “My baby…I love your willingness to learn, your ambition, your sensitivity, and your innocence.” Aubrey smiled warmly at her mother; her cheeks developing a rosy shade of red. “I love Brook’s love for animals, her passion and drive. I love her desire to always want more for herself. You make sure you tell her that!” she demanded. We nodded.

Mom sighed and straightened her head. Her eyes closed as she smiled, breathing in deeply as if she were taking us all in once more. “I love you all,” she said, still keeping her eyes closed. “Don’t ever forget that. My mother may not have loved me, but I am not my mother. Our legacy starts with me, you understand this. Don’t let the family sins ascend upon you. Smile, even though your heart is aching. You are the new generation of the Willows. Keep it going.” She looked to us once more with a stern expression and waited for an answer. We agreed and smiled looked over to Dad. He smiled warmly at our mother and caressed her hand in his. They held onto each others gaze for a moment. Then Mom shut her eyes.

She took one last breath. A smile still upon her face. And just like that…

…she was gone.

 

1.11 Life As I Knew It

Credit: The pose in this chapter is the We Heart It posepack by Skylar.

Yay, another update! First off, I’d like to dedicate this chapter to a very good friend of mine, PuddlyPudd who encouraged me (more like forced me…lol) to get this chapter out when I was having a major writer’s block. Thanks Lisa, you’re the best! 🙂

Okay, just to explain this chapter a bit…I jumped the storyline a little bit again because Brook left before I knew it for boarding school AND because Aubrey grew into a teen when I wasn’t looking. It’s a little shorter than the previous chapter. Your likes and comments are very much appreciated, thank you and enjoy!

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One Year Later…

The sun brightly shone as its natural sunlight danced across the apple trees in the backyard. Spring was here again and it was time to harvest the apples. I reminded myself to water them before I took the last bite of my veggie omelet. As I arose from the dining table, I could hear the faint sounds of Max and Aubrey having a conversation upstairs, and soon after, the muffled sounds of them laughing. The sound of Max’s laughter made me smile as I rinsed off my plate and placed it inside the sink. It was rewarding to know how close him and Aubrey had become within this past year. Now that Aubrey was older, their constant sibling bickering directly turned into hidden whispers and silent glances.

The house was a little bit quieter since Brook left for the Bridgeport Music & Art Academy. Sometimes I could still hear the rhythmic pitter-patter sounds of her feet coming from upstairs as she would practice religiously in her bedroom. Despite how Declan felt, I still believed she would be all right by herself. “Be careful out there!” I would warn her every time she phoned home. Hearing her sigh on the other end of the line in slight annoyance, she’d agree and would promise to call tomorrow. This had became our daily routine. Every morning I’d wake up, rummage through the fridge to find something to eat, make some coffee, and then the phone would ring. Even though she wasn’t my biological child, I still look at her as being one of my own.

My life, as I knew it, was beginning to slow down and pretty soon, I knew I would become an empty-nester. It wouldn’t be long before Max would be heading off somewhere starting a life of his own. Unlike Brook, the thought of Max being on his own scared the daylight out of me. Ever since he found out about Blair, things have not been the same with him. His distance towards me was tearing me apart and somehow I felt deep in my heart that he secretly blamed me for what Blair did. The thing is I don’t blame him for feeling that way. If I never went to that lounge bar with him that night, this never would’ve happened. However, Max would’ve never been born. So how am I suppose to feel? How is any of us suppose to feel?

The soft sounds of feet shuffling quickly ascended from my bedroom and into the kitchen. There lagging in his gait was a drowsy Declan, emerging from our bedroom with tussled hair. “Good morning, babe,” he said through a yawn and a stretch as his arms spread out into the air.

“Good morning. I’ve made everyone breakfast.” I happily handed him a plate of omelets as he brushed past me, mimicking an air kiss in my general direction before making himself a cup of coffee. “Kids, breakfast!” I called to upstairs.

I prepared two more plates and sat them down on the counter. “Thanks, Mom,” said Aubrey immediately upon entering the kitchen. She smiled merrily as she bid us good morning and planted a quick kiss on my cheek. Her hair was neatly combed straight down her back while she was still dressed in her pajamas. Even in pajamas, she’s still neat in her appearance. Where does she get that from? She walked over to Declan and gave him a hug before they sat down to eat at the breakfast bar.

“You’re looking lovely as ever,” said Declan. Aubrey smiled coyly at her father and took a bite of her food. Her father was the only person in the world who could make her blush.

“Where’s your brother?” I asked curiously once I realized he didn’t make it downstairs with his sister.

“He’s coming,” she simply replied, focusing in on her plate of food. I looked over at Declan, who at this point gave me a reassuring expression. There were so many times when I just wanted to grab my son by his shoulders and shake the depression out of him; though I knew in time, he would come back around. I sighed in defeat and went into the bedroom to prepare for a shower.

“Hey, there he is!” chimed Declan when he saw a stone-faced Max coming down the stairs. “Good morning, son!”

“Hey,” said Max, unenthusiastically just as he opened the refrigerator door. He reached inside to pull out a bottle of orange juice.

“Mom made breakfast. Your plate’s on the counter,” said Aubrey through mouthfuls of eggs.

“I’m not hungry,” he replied in the same manner, pouring himself a cup.

Declan got up from his bar stool with his plate in hand and walked over to Max who at this point had already guzzled the entire glass of orange juice. Declan stood before his son and looked him straight in the eyes. A stern expression appearing across his face as Max took a small step back in uneasiness. “Your mom woke up early and made it especially for you both. The least you could do is thank her by eating it.” Max could clearly see he was annoyed by his attitude. Max nodded compliantly and looked down at the espresso-colored wooden flooring beneath him. “Listen, I know you’re going through something right now–and we all understand; we really do–but your attitude and disrespect is starting to take its toll on your mother and frankly it’s starting to annoy me as well.”

“I’m sorry, Dad,” he said softly, barely above a whisper. His eyes narrowing back down to the floor. Declan placed a hand on the side of Max’s head and smiled. Max quickly glanced back up at him and gave him a slight smirk before walking away to gather his plate and fork and sitting down at the dining table.

I sat on my bed and wondered where I went wrong with Max. It was all I could think about lately and I was beginning to feel as if I would never be able to climb over this immense  roadblock that swiftly aberrated our lives away from what it once was. I always thought about what I would say or how I would deal with it once the day would come.

What was I suppose to say and do? I told him the truth and now the kid hates me. No he doesn’t hate you. He’s just upset and confused. I fought back and forth with my heavy thoughts until Declan appeared in the doorway. He smiled and leaned against the door frame. “You okay?” he asked. His eyes squinting at me with desire.

I smiled at him and nodded reassuringly. “Just thinking,” I said.

Declan walked over to the bed and held out his hand to me. He pulled me up from the bed when I gently took his hand and embraced me with a sensual kiss. His arms wrapped around me sent a warm feeling inside myself and my body relaxed in his arms. “He’s going to be okay, you know. You worry about him too much.”

“I know,” I said, releasing myself away from his hug but not his grasp. “But I can’t help it. It breaks my heart knowing that he’s hurting like that.” Declan placed his hands onto my hips and pulled me back in, our foreheads touching.

“I know,” he said. “But he’s strong like his mother. He’ll bounce back.” I looked in Declan’s eyes in search for his certainty. He smiled once again and lowered his lips onto mine. “So when do you want to tell them the good news?” he asked softly as his eyes gleamed with joy.

We walked out of the bedroom to find Max doing his homework at the dining table and  Aubrey in the living room engrossed in one of her books. One of the many things I was proud of was the fact that Max has always been very successful in his academics and Aubrey was a complete bookworm. As a child, Aubrey would sit in her bedroom and read for hours while Max would take weekend classes at the library to learn new things. They were both indeed very bright children and had all of the qualities I wish I had as a child.

“Max, Aubrey…We need to have a little chat.” Declan and I sat on one of the living room couches. Aubrey and Max went over to the adjacent couch and sat down, awaiting anxiously for whatever we had to say.

“Look, if this is about the frog incident at the school, I wasn’t there so I didn’t see anything,” said Max defensively.

“What are you talking about, Max? What frog incident? Your father and I just need to tell you both something, that’s all.”

“Oh. N-nevermind.” Max grinned nervously and sat back onto the couch.

“Well kids…Your father and I…are having another baby!” I exclaimed happily. Declan and I smiled as we waited for their reactions. Max and Aubrey sat quietly and looked at each other. Their faces were expressionless and it was hard to tell what they were thinking or feeling. “Well? Aren’t you guys excited?”

Max looked down amusingly at the floor. “Wait,” began Aubrey with a confused yet troubled look upon her face. “You guys still do it at your age?! That’s so disgusting! Don’t you use protection? I mean like Mom, you’re like…forty. Aren’t you too old to have a baby?”

Declan looked at me and smirked. “Hey, I resent that!” I exclaimed. “Besides, you’re never too old to woohoo!” I gave them a wink and smiled in hilarity. Max and Aubrey looked at each other again and shuttered in disgust.

The kids weren’t exactly thrilled at the fact that we were expecting another child this late in life, but they were supportive of our decision nevertheless. After we sat and discussed the rules and the expectations Declan and I have of them when the baby arrives, I decided to pull Max to the side and talk with him about what he was feeling.

“I’m fine, Mom. Really,” he said assertively.

“I just want to make sure because we haven’t really sat down and talked about it since you first asked me about him,” I said, concerned.

“Don’t worry about it; it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine,” he retorted.

“So you don’t have anymore questions about him or anything pertaining to what happened?”

“Mom! Just leave me alone about it! I said I’m fine! I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” Max cried, furrowing his brows in frustration. I nodded in silence, leaving him to dismiss himself as he walked past the kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom. The house went  silent after I heard Max’s door close in a half slam. Declan had taken Aubrey to the bookstore, causing the rest of the house to become empty. I had became accustomed to the everyday noises since having children to the point where silence now bothered me, so the thought of having another child on the way delighted me.

I walked over to the glass patio doors that led to the backyard and admired the beautiful scenery of the mountains that surrounded us. I finally felt at home here in Cape Garner and I couldn’t imagine myself living anywhere else. I opened the screen door and stepped out into the cool breeze. The trees swayed gently with the wind while the apples swung back and forth with it. I grabbed the wooden crate I used to gather the apples from the patio deck and made my way to the trees. Since it was harvesting time, the apples were beginning to fall to the ground. There were at least three crates full of apples to pick, so I made a mental note to finish before nightfall.

1.10 What Dreams and Woes May Come

Hi guys! I know, it’s been ridiculously too long but I am back finally with a new chapter for you all. If you only knew how much I struggled to get this legacy back on track. *shakes head* Just a quick heads up, some things have changed since the last update.  Since my game decided to be super super glitchy, it aged all the children up, so I had no other choice but to speed up the legacy some and please ignore some of the clothing in this chapter. When they aged up, they were wearing weird base game clothing and I was way too tired to give a damn so I left them as they were in some shots. Also, in this chapter, I wrote it a little different than the previous chapters. It’s still in first-person, but I focused more on all three kids rather than herself, so you’ll get to see the characteristics of each kid.

Before I post the next chapter–which I’ve already started working on–I will be posting an heir poll with pictures of the potential heirs. I ask that you please vote for your favorite. Since Brook is not Corrina’s offspring, I’m afraid she will not be eligible to become heir. Sorry.

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10 Years Later…

It has been ten years since Declan and I moved into a bigger home to raise our little family. We ended up living in a charming two-story home that Declan was renting out at the time. The family was nice enough to swap houses with us and since they only had one child, there was less maintenance, plus cheaper rent was an added bonus for them. I immediately fell in love when we first moved into our new home. It was the perfect setup with both Max and Brook having their own rooms with their own bathrooms and we had our en suite downstairs.

Then several months after getting settled in, we had our beautiful baby girl, Aubrey; the apple of her daddy’s eye. She was a perfect representation of the both of us with Declan’s jet black hair and my facial features. The only one who stood out with her honey-colored eyes that she had clearly must have inherited from her grandfather, my father. Sometimes when I see her pretty face, I secretly wished I had those eyes. The kind of eyes that harbored nothing less of love and innocence. But like with everything else in life, nothing ever works out the way you want them to.

I quickly became accustomed to the gardening business upon our arrival to 1010 Bart Bluff Lane. Our backyard was huge and was already outlined with apple trees. I added a few grape vineyards and with that, our income increased drastically throughout the seasons. I loved being a self-employed Gardener for the small town of Cape Garner. There was nothing like seeing the satisfaction of my customers when they purchased my grapes and apples.

The daylight slowly began to fade away as the evening was getting ready to settle into the night sky. As I finished clipping the last bit of the apples off of the trees, I heard the patio door steadily open, and then close. “Hey honey! I’m home!” I turned to see my husband standing on the porch, waving happily towards me. I smiled at him as I always did when he came home from work and promptly set my clippers down on the cool grass. “How was your day?” he asked when I approached him for a hug.

“Pretty good,” I replied. “I sold a lot of apples today. Looks like we’ll have a good chunk of change in our savings after all!”

Declan smiled satisfactorily and placed his hands on the sides of my hips. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered while slowly pulling me in for a kiss. I told him that I had missed him as well and then he pressed his lips tightly against mine. That same feeling always overtook me as it did the very first time we kissed that night ten years ago. After this many years of being together, his kiss still sent shivers down my spine.

The living room filled with chatter and laughter as they all rested comfortably in the living room to watch a movie as I resided in the kitchen to get dinner on the stove. I didn’t mind cooking alone and I often took advantage of the solidarity to gather all my thoughts and focus on preparing the meal. It was these times when I was thankful for having teenage kids who were self-sufficient enough to entertain themselves and their little sister.

Just as I had placed a pot of water onto the stove, I could hear Declan imitating the characters in the movie, causing Aubrey to giggle contagiously and uncontrollably. I couldn’t help but to giggle myself at the sound of her laughter and Declan’s silliness. “God Dad, you’re such a dork!” cried Brook as she looked at her father with annoyance. Brook’s disapproval only added fuel to her father’s fire as he continued on with his silly antics. Even Max couldn’t help but to shake his head and laugh at his father’s craziness. Brook knew her further protests would become a lost cause and decided the best thing to do was to ignore her father.

“So Dad,” said Brook after the laughter had finally ceased. “I was looking up private schools online and I found one that I really like! It’s an art school and it has everything from painting to music to dance…and I would really love to go!”

“Sounds interesting,” replied Declan without taking his eyes off the movie. “Where is this school?”

Brook bit down on her bottom lip as she looked over to her father. “It’s in Bridgeport.”

“No. Absolutely not, I’m sorry sweetheart.” Declan’s hasty response caused everyone in the room to turn their attention on the conversation.

“But why, Dad? You know I’ve always wanted to become a professional dancer!”

“There are a few reasons, Brook. First, it’s too far; second, it’s too expensive I’m sure; and third, you’re too young to be traveling back and forth like that every day.”

Brook frowned in confusion. “But Dad, they have room and board there. I won’t have to travel.”

Declan gave his eldest daughter a stern look. “Well that’s an even more of a reason why you shouldn’t go. You’ll be just fine here at Cape Garner High.” Brook glared at her father and sat in silence until dinner was ready.

The sounds of forks clanking against the porcelain plates filled the air as everyone ate their food in silence. Max ate his dinner at the breakfast bar as he always did and Brook silently sulked over her plate while twirling her fork through her mess of food; not giving a second thought to eating her dinner. “Are you not hungry, Brook?” I asked before taking a bite.

Brook shook her head. “May I be excused?” she asked as she focused her gaze on me and ignored her father’s grim looks. I nodded and she quickly arose from her chair and headed straight upstairs without another word.

“I think she’s mad at you, Daddy,” said Aubrey with a slight bit of amusement on her face.

Declan chuckled. “I think so too.”

“Why don’t you come eat with us, honey. There’s room over here.” I said to Max who was by now scarfing down his food as if he hadn’t eaten for days.

“I’m good,” he replied flatly. “I’m done anyway.” Max arose from his stool to wash his dish in the sink and then began upstairs in the same manner as his cousin.

“What is wrong with our kids?” I exclaimed.

“They’re teenagers. That’s what’s wrong,” replied Declan as he took his last bite of his food.

“Aunt Corrina, can we talk?” asked Brook as she made her way downstairs.

“Of course. Is this about the art school?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer to my own question. Brook looked down at her feet and nodded as if she was almost ashamed to bring it up again. “Brook listen. I understand how bad you want this for yourself and I want this for you, but you have to understand where your dad is coming from. It’s a big world out there and we don’t know if you are ready for it. Bridgeport is not all cut out as they make it seem. I would know, I lived through my childhood.” Not to mention the many murders your grandmother committed out there.

“But I am ready! I’m fifteen already and I want to be able to get into a good college and this would look so good on my college applications!”

I hated to admit it, but she did have a valid point. I always wished that I could have gone to college myself, but seeing that she has the opportunity to, I wanted her to do whatever it was she needed to do to succeed. “What’s up?” asked Declan from our bedroom doorway. Brook took her eyes off of me and looked back down at her feet.

“Honey, I think she should go,” I proclaimed. “I think it will be good for her.”

Declan raised an eyebrow at me, shocked at the words that came out of my mouth. “You do? Of all people, you think she should attend a school all the way in Bridgeport?!”

“I know there are some parts of Bridgeport that are really shady, but for the most part, it’s a nice city with a lot of cultural things for her to experience. And it’s not like we don’t have the money for it.” Declan continued to stare at me in bewilderment for a few seconds and then turned his head to look over at his pitiful teenage daughter who stood before him and pleading with him with her big blue eyes. He let out a sigh as he looked down at the ground and shook his head. He knew this was one fight that he was going to lose and I knew that I would definitely pay the price if anything were to happen to her out there, but Brook was developing into a smart and mature young lady and even though he didn’t want to admit it, we both knew that she would be able to handle being out on her own. She indeed was her aunt’s niece after all.

“All right, fine. You can go,” he said, defeated. Brook let out a tiny shriek of happiness right before Declan quickly shut her excitement back down. “BUT…only on one condition!” Brook rapidly nodded her head in agreement as her excitement kept growing more and more inside. “You have to call us once a day. The day that we do not hear from you, we are pulling you out. Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh yes, yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Daddy!” she squealed as she jumped in her father’s arms. Declan smiled warmly, but sadly as he hugged his little girl. He knew this day would come eventually, but he didn’t know it would have been this soon.

The sun soon rised, indicating that it was morning again. I smiled to myself as I gazed over at my sleeping husband. It was the weekend, which meant a couple of days off from work. Although I loved what I did, I was always happy to have some time to myself and with my family.

The house was silent when I opened my bedroom door and I automatically assumed that everyone else were still asleep, but as soon as I headed towards the kitchen, I could hear two distinctive voices squabbling away.

“Come on, pleeeease?!” pleaded Aubrey.

“No, okay? Go away!” cried Max, dismissing his little sister with a hand in the air.

Aubrey’s bottom began to quiver, but immediately stopped as a change of emotion consumed her. Her eyebrows lowered in a fury frown as she glared up at her big brother. “You’re mean!” she spat and violently brushed past him to run upstairs.

Max rolled his eyes, annoyed at his sister’s outburst and turn to head upstairs. He abruptly came to a halt when he saw me standing by the breakfast bar and sighed. “Geez Mom, you scared me,” he said, taking a deep breath.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug and continued on to head upstairs.

I soon followed suit to check on what seemed to have been a very upset Aubrey. It was without a shadow of a doubt that she doubly inherited her hot-headed trait from her father and I instantly felt very badly for whomever she would choose to marry.

I stopped at the door way of her room and watched as she unenthusiastically tossed around her outdated toys. I made a mental note to buy her some new things to entertain her with now she was getting older and would soon be out of the child age stage. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” I asked as I came in and stroked her pigtails.

“It’s Max! He doesn’t ever let me hang out with him! I think he hates me.” she exclaimed as she stood up from her table.

“Oh sweetie, don’t take it personally. He’s a teenager and he’s into different things now. Once you become a teen yourself, you will know exactly what I mean.” I combed the strands of her loose hairs behind her ears and smiled. She smiled back and nodded.

“But does he have to be so mean about it?” she asked. She twirled her thumbs together in a nervous manner and pain showcased on her face. I found myself wondering the same thing and realized how grumpy and distant Max has been lately. Declan always told me it’s his teenage hormones, but I knew there was something else deeper than that. Something was troubling him and I had to get to the bottom of it.

“I will talk to him about that. Now why don’t you get dressed. You and I have some shopping to do.” Aubrey grinned happily and swiftly went to her closet. I stepped out of her bedroom, closed the door, and made my way across the hall to Max’s closed door. I knocked a few times and paused.

“Yeah?” he greeted, clearly annoyed with the disturbance.

I cautiously opened the door in hopes of not walking into something I would regret to later. Max sat at his computer and casually looked over towards me. “What are you surfing?” I asked, indicating the Internet browser being open to an unknown web page.

“Nothing,” he replied.

I went over to him and placed my hands onto his shoulders. “Can we talk?” He shrugged and turned around in his seat to face me. His eyes shifting from left to right as he tried to figure out what posture to favor without giving away his uneasiness of me being in his room. “Is everything okay? I feel as if you’ve been distracted by something lately.”

“Yeah…I’m fine.” he simply replied.

“No. No, you’re not. There’s something wrong and I want to know. You’ve been really grumpy and very distant lately and if it really is nothing, then I expect your attitude to change very quickly, Maxwell  Willow!”

Max’s eyes widened at the mention of his full name and gulped. I only used their full names whenever I was upset with them and they knew it. With thought, he arose out of his chair and stood in front of his grim-faced mother. He hesitated to speak for a few seconds as he scanned the floor for an idea of how to begin the conversation. “I’m sorry,” he began calmly. “It’s just…” he paused for a moment. “…I don’t really know how to ask this, so I’m just going to ask.”

“Well you know you can ask me anything, honey,” I said warmly as I placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Was–uh…I mean–uh.” Max gulped as he struggled with the words to say. “Did my biological father rape you?”

1.9 What Summer Brings

This chapter was about to be the death of me. My Sims would not cooperate with me (and I had autonomy turned on low!) that it made it impossible to go with the storyline the way I had originally wanted it to be. So I was forced to place in a time gap from the previous chapter to now. *sigh* It was a mess in the beginning, but it worked itself out in the end and I am extremely happy with how this chapter turned out. By the way, this chapter is pretty lengthy with the writing part of it…I hope you enjoy it because if not, I’m going to cry! 🙂

It wasn’t the best of times, but it wasn’t the worst either. Declan’s rental properties began doing well enough to make a living for the both of us while I focused on my gardening and taking care of our kids. Declan and I were a couple now and ever since that night we first made love, our relationship had only gotten better. I didn’t think it was possible for us to be any closer than we already were as friends, but I was indeed very wrong. I began to experience how it felt to be needed and wanted by somebody and not have to worry about whether he was going to hurt me or not. He wasn’t that type of guy and I could see that now. It showed in his actions, in his eyes, and in his kiss; but most importantly, it showed with how he treated Max as if he was his very own.

The end of summer quickly sneaked upon us as we spent each day together. With Max rapidly getting bigger and Brook starting preschool soon, we decided to make the best of everything and enjoy what was left of summer before school began. We spent most of our summer on the beach teaching both Brook and Max how to swim and make sand castles. Brook, being the little daredevil that she was, immediately took the water in no time and would splash around wildly in the shallow parts of the ocean while Max stayed at the foot of the water and cautiously watched his cousin flail all about. Although they were related, they were nothing alike and yet as they became older, both personalities balanced each others’ well. I was happy to know that they would always have each other throughout their challenging lives and that they both had parents who loved them both very much and would do anything for them.

“Come on. You can do it, buddy!” exclaimed Declan as he stood Max onto his feet. Once he released his grip from the toddler’s tiny hands, Max finally stood on his own. His knees began to wobble as Declan took a few steps backwards and held out his hands to him. “Okay, now walk to me.” Max took two giant steps and quickly lost his balanced as he involuntarily stumbled into Declan’s arms. Laughter filled the house and Declan, Brook, and I clapped our hands and cheered for Max.

Max beamed proudly and then let out a drawn out yawn. “Bedtime already, little man?” I asked after taking the last bite of my macaroni and cheese.

“I’ll go put him down,” Declan volunteered. Max placed his head onto his shoulders and held on tightly as he carried him to his room. I smiled as I watched them head into Max’s bedroom. Max was always happy to have Declan around and loved him very much. The thought about him looking to him as a father made me feel warm inside.

“It’s bedtime for you too, missy,” I stated to Brook as I placed my dirty bowl into the sink. She sighed in defeat and slumped her shoulders. Without saying a word, she turned around and slowly made her way to the bedroom she shared with Max. “Goodnight,” I chimed. She put her hand up to give a slight wave as she continued onto bed.

I twisted and turned in a pool of my own sweat as I fought desperately to open my eyes, and then suddenly, I did. Darkness plagued the bedroom and the only way of seeing before me was the illumination of the moon. I sat up in bed and in a slight panic, scanned the entire bedroom. Declan laid perfectly still, sound asleep with not a notion of my fear. Damn nightmares again! It had been awhile since my last and I had been thrilled about it, but like all good things, they eventually come to an end.

I rubbed the brim of my nose before standing to my feet. The core of my stomach ached, causing my gag reflexes to go hay wire. With a  lump forming in my throat, my mouth abruptly began to water. I ran to the bathroom and at the time that I opened the toilet lid, a rush of vomit escaped from my mouth and splashed into the toilet. Relieved, I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror and took notice of my natural glow. The new morning ritual was quickly getting old, but my condition was doing wonders to my appearance.

The sun started to shine through the darkness by the time I got myself cleaned up and headed into the kitchen. Coffee was okay for now, but would soon become a thing of the past. I frowned at the thought as I made a pot of coffee. I sat at the dining table and thought about how much more my life was going to change. Am I ready for this again? I wasn’t sure. Mixed emotions filled my entire being and at that moment, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Hey baby,” greeted a lethargic Declan as he made his way to the table to take a seat next to me.

“Hi,” I replied softly.

Declan sat and looked through the glass of the back door. “Looks like rain today.”

“Nope. Just an overcast.”

Declan nodded satisfactorily and then placed his attention on me. “You’re looking more beautiful every day.” His compliment forcefully placed a smile upon my face. Always the charmer.

“Thanks,” I replied shyly. Declan stared into my eyes as if he was searching for my deepest thoughts. I shifted my eyes nervously away from his gaze and immediately got up from my seat. “Want some coffee?” I asked. He shook his head, keeping his gaze on me.

I turned toward the sink and took a sip from my favorite coffee mug. It was a plain white color, but it was big like the kind you see in a coffee house. I kept my eyes outside while I looked out the window. There was nothing important to see, but it prevented me from looking nervous. Then I felt his hands go onto my hips and then around my waist. He planted a kiss on my neck and I smiled. “What’s the matter?”

I chewed on my tongue as I battled with the decision to tell him. I wasn’t sure how he would feel about the idea. I knew he loved me, but I didn’t know how committed he wanted to be to me. I was happy about it, but scared at the same time. What are we going to do with three children in a two-bedroom house?

He unwrapped his arms from my waist and turned my hips around, forcing me to face him. I avoided his eyes and looked downwards to the ground. “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost and just stared at me. Then, his eyes shifted from mine to my slightly swollen belly. His face went expressionless as he placed a hand on my right hip and caressed his fingers across my stomach. I watched as a tiny smile slowly appeared on his face. I then felt myself let out a deep breath that I had been holding in since I blurted the news to him. “Wow,” he chuckled to himself. Before I could say anything else, he lifted me up off the ground and sat me on top of the kitchen counter. He gently pulled me in for a long succulent kiss. I was relieved he wasn’t upset, but I was still scared. “I love you,” he whispered when he placed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.

“You do?” I asked, a little taken aback from his response. He nodded reassuringly and smiled warmly. I smiled widely back at him. “I love you, too.” I replied. We kissed for a little while longer after that with each kiss becoming more intense than the previous one. His hands slowly rubbing the sides of my thighs, I found myself becoming aroused. “Hey,” I playfully protested while I pulled myself away from his lips. “This is exactly how this happened,” I said, pointing to my stomach. We laughed quietly, not wanting to wake Max and Brook.

“Okay, okay, I give.” He pulled me down from the counter and planted another kiss onto my forehead. “I’m going to go take a shower…a cold shower, that is.”

I cleaned up a little in the kitchen before heading back into the my bedroom. I realized how quickly exhausted I had been getting from very little activity. I didn’t remember my first pregnancy being this way, but I knew all pregnancies are different. I laid down on top of our comforter, not wanting to mess up the blankets again and stared out the window. I placed my hands on top of the small bump that formed from inside of me and sighed. Where will we live? What are we going to do for money? My garden business isn’t thriving like how it use to and we can’t live comfortably on just Declan’s income alone! All the questions and worry I had swirled ferociously like a whirlwind in my mind.

“Aunt Corrina, can I go outside and play?” asked Brook, snapping me out of my thoughts. Brook stood in the doorway with a pleading expression as she looked over at me.

“Sure. Just be sure to stay in the backyard.” Brook obediently nodded her head in agreement and happily trotted out the back door. It was a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly in the morning sky as scattered clouds made cotton-like shapes around the sun. I always thought children should be able to play outside often. Of course, these personal feelings derived from my childhood memories of being stuck inside the group home all the time. Never allowed to go out of the headmistresses’ sight and always having to ask first before being able to play. I didn’t want my kids to grow up in that way. Unlike my murderous mother, I was determined to be a great one and vowed to love them with every inch of my heart and soul.

“You alright?” asked Declan when he came out of the bathroom. He wore nothing but a pair of pajama pants and his hair was still damp from the shower. The smell of the woody, herby, and fruity fragrance from his cologne unleashed from his body and enticed all my senses. I smiled just as he climbed onto the bed and leaned over next to me. He cradled his face in his hand as he placed his other hand upon my face. A look of concern extended across his face when my eyes met his.

“What are we going to do, Declan?” I asked anxiously. “With another baby on the way, there won’t be any room here. Not to mention, we won’t be able to live off of your income alone!”

Declan shushed me while stroking my hair. I relaxed a little while continuing to look up at his composed expression. “We’re going to be just fine. You forget I own three houses; one of which is a three-bedroom,” he grinned. “The only thing I want you to do is to take care of yourself, give birth to our beautiful baby, and raise the other beautiful babies that we already have. I told you before that I would always be here for you and I meant it. I told you that I would never let anyone else hurt you again and I meant that too. Now I’m telling you that I will take care of you always and forever and I mean that.”

All I could do was nod my head in agreement. I trusted him and knew what he said was sincere. He had stuck to his word this far and it would be wrong of me to doubt him now. He was my best friend and my companion and I knew at this moment that there was no way I could live my life without him.

“Hey you guys! Come out here and look what I can do!” Brook called out from the backyard. We giggled as we got up from the bed and walked over to the window to see Brook successfully and swiftly hopscotching away. We smiled and gave her thumbs up of approval and she smiled greatly as she went back to her activity.

I turned back around and propped myself up against the window, gazing lovingly at Declan. He leaned in towards me and lightly fixed his soft lips onto mine that sent chills down my spine. I shivered in response and feeling this, he pressed his body against mine and parted my lips with his tongue, demanding our tongues to touch and intertwine with one another. I felt the bulge in his pants swell between us and my body began to feel awakened all over again. Our hands met and like our tongues, our fingers intertwined together as our kisses intensified greatly.

If this is how it feels to love, then how can anybody choose to hate? I had learned over the past few years that hatred must be such a powerful emotion that it can easily overtake your entire body, soul, and spirit; causing you to lose focus on what matters the most. My mother was the prime example of how powerful hatred can become if you let it consume you. With Declan’s help, I chose not to let it consume me and only wished that my children will do the same as well.

1.8 For the First Time

I very much apologize for the very long delay of this update! I know you all have said you understood why, but still I am deeply sorry. I always hate not being able to achieve my own private goals. Since I have been gone for so long, I have made this chapter a little lengthy. More words than pictures mainly. I plan for another update to come very soon as well. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

WARNING: This chapter contains a sexual scene. If you are under the age of 18 or are offended by naked Sims engaging in sexual activities, then I advise you to not read any further.

Credit: The poses are the Zatura poses by Skylar Arden. The house was made by me and is currently not available for download, but if you would like to download it, ask me. 🙂

 It was a beautiful day. The kind of day that invited you out for a brisk walk or a light jog. The kind of day that enticed you to take advantage of the things you have been wanting to do the most, but never had time to do it on any other day. So I did just that. I walked and I walked and I walked until the soles of my feet began to ache. I took a break at Myrtle Beach, which was conveniently across the way from my street. The ocean breeze danced inside my nostrils, allowing my body to succumb to the peacefulness of the day. The mountainous view looked grand and hypnotizing against the blue waters. Yes, Cape Garner was the perfect choice. I did not miss Belle Harbor at all.  It was nice to get away from all of the drama and sadness for once.

I sat on the sea of pebbles and relished in the afternoon sunlight. I began to think about everything that had happened these past couple of years. After Blair’s suicide, it was hard for Declan and myself to stay in Belle Harbor. Too many bad memories consumed the entire city, thus it being a constant reminder of what happened. So Declan, being the handy carpenter that he was, fixed up his grandmother’s old house for me here in Cape Garner and was kind enough to rent it out to me for a very reasonable price. He reassured me that I would be safe here from all the city humdrum and can focus on having the baby. It was only a month after when I had the baby.

Max came the following Summer after Blair’s suicide. Weighing at 7 pounds, 9 ounces, he was the most beautifulest thing I’d ever seen. It was hard to tell whose features he would end up inheriting, but either way, he was mine and I loved him with all my being.  I would often sit in the comfy rocking chair that Declan had bought for me as a baby shower gift and watch the sleep overcome his dreary face as I would rock Max to sleep. Nothing I ever experienced could compare to the feeling I have for my son. It was then that I truly did not understand how any parent could have hatred towards their own child.

As I was lost in my reflections of the past events that had led me to here, my phone began to vibrate in my side jean pocket. I immediately rose up from the pebbly sand and took notice of the name that flashed against the screen. Declan. I found myself smiling when I heard his soft voice happily greeting me from the other line. “Hey sunshine! You up for some company a little later? Brook is dying for another play date.”

I laughed at his poor excuse to come over. “Yeah…I’m sure she is. I’m always up to seeing you guys. Come by in a couple of hours and I’ll have dinner ready.” He agreed and we ended the conversation at that. I wiped off the sand from my bottom and made my way back home.  An irritable teen waited anxiously at the front door for my arrival. Dammit, I forgot! “I’m so sorry, Laya. I lost track of time. I hope I’m not too late,” I said as I met her at on the porch. Laya was the captain of the cheerleading squad and never missed a practice. I would have hated for her to miss one because of me.

“Not by much,” she replied with a slight annoyance in her voice. “Practice doesn’t technically start for another fifteen minutes. If I go now, I can make it on time. See ya, Ms. Willow!” The typical cheerleader type from Cape Garner High waved goodbye and sprinted off down the street as if her ass was on fire. I sighed and smiled. Teenagers.

The house was clean and quiet when I stepped back into the house. A focused toddler sat in his playpen, determined to get all of his blocks on one side of the rack. “Hi, buddy!” I greeted. Max quickly turned his attention on me and smiled his cheeky grin; arms extended out for me to pick him up. I thought I felt my heart melt at that moment.

“Monsta, mama!” cried Max with excitement. I chuckled as I held my hand up in a claw-like form and began tickling his belly. His laughter quickly filled the room, causing me to laugh along with him.

“Now be good and play with your toys while Mommy goes outside and works for awhile.” I doused him with kisses and placed him back inside his playpen. Without a fuss, Max promptly went back to work on his blocks.

I went out to my backyard and began working on my small garden. With Max at home, it was hard finding work that could flex around my schedule. So I ended up doing side jobs all around town until I finally found work as a self-employed Farmer for the local market. The pay wasn’t always good, but it paid the bills. With a bunch of self-taught books, I was able to grow all kinds of fruits and vegetables and the grocer at the market was always thankful.

After spending some time harvesting all of my grown vegetables and fertilizing the planted ones, I immediately got to work in the kitchen with all of my homegrown ingredients. I wasn’t the best cook, but Declan and the kids seemed to like it, so I had no problem taking the time out to cook for them.

Declan and Brook arrived just in time for dinner. My chicken carbonera was a success and I was secretly relieved since I had never made it before. “This is very good!” exclaimed Declan, shoving forkfuls into his mouth. I giggled and thanked him. Silence had over taken the table for a few minutes and all I could hear were the clinging of our forks and the kids babbling on amongst each other in their chairs. Between forkfuls of pasta, I would occasionally glance over at Declan who seemed to have something on his mind.

“Is something the matter?” I asked him, concerned.

“No. Why?” he asked. Declan focused on his plate of food as he continued to eat in silence.

“You’re acting strange. Is your food really that interesting or do you just not want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

Declan sighed as he twirled his fork around in his hands. “Corrina, there’s something I have to tell you. I just don’t want you to hate me when I do.” He lowered his head to his plate with the fork still twirling in his hand.

“Dec, I could never hate you. Now what’s wrong?”

Declan glanced all around the house as if he were expecting spies lurking around the house. He then leaned in a little closer towards me and looked up at me with pleading eyes. “You know that night…That night Blair killed himself?” I nodded. “Well…hours before he died, I invited him over to my house and we had a few drinks. I was so mad at what he did to you that I…” His words drifted off in the air as he took a deep breath. His hands clenched into fists.

“That you what?” I asked, confused. Declan continued on to tell me what he did that night Blair killed himself. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. I knew he was upset, but I never thought he would actually do something to him. As Declan continue to explain, I could feel myself becoming dizzy by the second. I tried to keep eating, but I was finding myself no longer hungry anymore. Declan sat in his chair and hung his head down. Silence filled the air once again. Even the babies were quiet as they were focused more on the piles of mush on their trays.

Feeling overwhelmed, I had to excuse myself from the table. I made my way to the backyard patio and thought about what Declan just told me. How could he have done that? I told him to leave it alone! I was furious for what he did, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but to feel a little glad he did what he did. I was starting to feel guilty feeling this way. What kind of person does that make me?

I had been outside for a half hour before I heard the patio door open and close from behind. “I went ahead and put them to bed. Brook is asleep in the playpen. I hope that’s okay.” I nodded without saying a word. I could tell by his footsteps that he was hesitant to approach me. “Corrina, please don’t hate me,” he said softly. He placed a hand on my shoulder and another hand onto my waist. I wanted to be mad at him for what he did, but I couldn’t find the words to say to him. I couldn’t look him in the eyes and tell him how disappointed I was because truthfully I wasn’t. Truthfully, I wanted to leap for joy and that was wrong. Very wrong.

“I don’t hate you,” I said softly, keeping my eyes on the street.

“I was just so angry with him. And after everything you’ve been through…I don’t want anybody hurting you again!” Sensing the passion and anger in his voice, I turned towards Declan. His eyes were pleading with mine as he stepped closer to me. “Please don’t be angry with me.” I told him I wasn’t angry with him and that I understood why he did it. There was one thing I have learned about Declan and that was that it was very hard to stay mad at him. Ever since I arrived here from Bridgeport, he’s always been there for me; providing me with everything I needed and wanted. He was a great father figure to Max also. I was really grateful for him because I knew if it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would be right now.

Declan didn’t take his eyes off of mine and then he slowly lifted his hands onto my waist. His stare was intense as he shifted his eyes between mine and my lips. I could feel my heart beating heavier and heavier as he slowly lowered his lips onto mine. The kiss was soft with our lips barely grazing one another. Declan then began to wrap his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a more passionate kiss.

There I was, completely naked and vulnerable right in front of him for the first time. His hands navigated every inch of my body when he pulled me on top of him. He gazed into my eyes the same way as he did when he first kissed me. He held onto my hips and slowly thrust himself inside of me repeatedly. The sensation of him was overwhelming and I let out a small cry. I then began to moan with pleasure as I gazed into his eyes and saw the hunger in his eyes. It was as if I was the only person in his world and suddenly, I felt more comfortable in my own skin.

The rest of the night was simply amazing and nothing that I had ever experienced before in my life. Declan was sweet and delicate with me as he knew my first sexual experience with Blair was traumatizing. I rested my head upon his chest as he gently rubbed my back and soon we both drifted off to sleep. I ached a little from the Declan’s thrusts when he pushed himself inside of me, but I didn’t care. I was overjoyed by our love-making. Our naked bodies stayed warm against each other all night as the cool night air flew its way through the open bedroom windows. That night, our souls met for the first time. That night was a night that I would never forget. I just hope I wasn’t making a big mistake. God, I hope not.

 

1.7 Payback

This chapter is a little long as it has a lot of dialogue. I had some difficulty writing this out due to my illness, so I didn’t really put my full effort into it, but then again, I am my own worst critic. LOL. Also, please ignore the changing of the clothes! They kept changing into their everyday clothes when I needed them to be in their outerwear clothes.

WARNING: There’s going to be a lot of profanity in this chapter.

Credits: The poses in this chapter include the Chatting Posepack by deggdegg, the Fear Posepack by Akuiyumi, and another posepack that I forgot the name of, but when I figure it out, I will add it to my Credits page.

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==Declan’s POV==

 

My blood boiled fiercely like a pot full of piping hot water as I drove home. As the conversation between Corrina and I replayed in my head over and over again, my hands tightened more and more onto the steering wheel, causing my knuckles to become a nice shade of white. I always knew Blair had some asshole tendencies, but I never knew he would ever take it this far. We had been friends for a very long time. Close friends even at one time in our lives. He knew I liked her. That asshole. He was always a ladies’ man, so I can understand how appealing he must have been to her. I had to admit the thought of her being attracted to him made me a little jealous. He always got the girls while I was always the loser who kept his nose in the books. Asshole.

Before I knew it, I was in the driveway of my home. I could hear the television set blasting through the front windows. Teenagers. I made a mental note to change babysitters as I got out of the car and headed inside.

“You’re back!” exclaimed the babysitter; a tall and lanky girl with curly red hair. Her braces sparkled in the light as she gave me the widest grin I’d ever seen. Why are teenage girls so weird? “I guess I’ll be going now. That’ll be $75.” She placed her hand out in gesture of receiving her payment.

I smiled and shook my head as I grabbed my leathery mess of a wallet out of the back pocket of my jeans and handed her the money. “Thanks again.”

“Call me if you need me to babysit again!” She gave off another one of her ridiculously wide grins before opening the front door and heading out.

“Or not,” I said out loud. I made my way over to the couch and sat on the very edge; still enraged from earlier. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t notice Brook in her playpen across the way. She looked over at me through the slits of her playpen with a serious expression across her face. Her big brown eyes looking concerned for her daddy. She knew I was mad. That was one of the things I loved about her. Only two years old and already in tuned with her father. I couldn’t wait to see her grow up.

I sat for an hour in the living room after placing Brook to bed. Every time I saw that asshole’s face in my mind, my blood would boil all over again. My skin becoming warm and my hands balled into fists. He can’t get away with this. He’ll have to pay. I pulled out my phone and dialed his phone number. The phone rang three times before I heard his voice. If I could, I probably would have leaped through the phone and choked the shit out of him. “Hey man! How’s it going?” I pretended to be friendly as I usually am. Being a dick right now would just ruin everything. After listening to him babble on and on about himself and his midnight endeavors, I invited him over. “Oh sure, I’ll be over in a few,” he said. I smiled. Finally, the little shit was going to get what he deserved.

I sat on the couch and waited patiently for his arrival. It didn’t take him long for him to show up. I looked out my window when I saw his headlights come closer to the house. I opened the front door when I heard his footsteps on the front porch. I greeted him as I always did and invited him to make himself at home. We chatted for a bit about what’s been going on with each other. Blair stayed cool and collected as if nothing ever happened. I wanted to kill him, but I wasn’t that type of person.

“You thirsty?” I asked him as I went into the kitchen.

“I’m always thirsty…if you know what I mean.” Blair let out a chuckle. I rolled my eyes at the back of his head and prepared the drinks. Triazolam; a very heavy sleeping aid that helped me during my depression. His drink fizzed as I dropped the pills into his vodka.

“Here you are.” I handed him his drink when he entered the kitchen. “So how are things at the dog shelter?” I asked as I took a sip of my drink. I hated vodka. I didn’t even know why I had it or how long it had been there for that matter.

“It’s going okay, I guess. I didn’t think there would be so much work involved.” I watched intensely as he took another sip out of his glass.

“Yeah I bet.” I took another sip. “I bet Corrina’s been a big help though, huh?” I watched as Blair’s eyes shifted slightly to the left and his eyebrows lowered.

“Actually, I haven’t seen her in awhile. I think she quit on me.” He took another sip. “Poor thing probably couldn’t handle it anymore.” He snickered to himself.

“Really? Hmm. Well, she is going through a lot right now, so it was probably too much for her to handle right now.”

“Yeah?” he asked. “Is she okay?”

Fuck you, asshole! “Yeah…she’ll be alright,” I replied coolly. I sat my glass onto the counter and prepared myself a bowl of cereal. I sat down in the living room chair and ate my cereal quietly. Blair remained in the kitchen as he continued to finish his glass of vodka.

There was silence for several minutes before I stood up to place my empty bowl in the sink. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Blair place a hand over his forehead. He gripped the edge of the counter top and shook his head. “You okay, man?” I asked, pretending to give a shit.

“I don’t know.” Blair blinked a few times as if his vision was leaving him. “I feel kinda weird.” I stood and watched him try to get his bearings together. He continued to shake his head and blink rapidly while holding onto the couch. “I think I need to lie down,” he said.

“Okay, well you can lie down on–” I was in mid-sentence when his body hit the tiled floor like a sack of flour. A smile ascended upon my face as I watched his limp body twitch.

==Blair’s POV==

I slowly opened my eyes as if I were opening my eyes for the first time in years. My body felt heavy and every muscle ached with pain. I squenched my eyes shut to block out the brightness of the ceiling lamp and an excruciating sharp pain traveled violently across my face. Blood trickled down my fingers from the wounds on the right side of my face. What the hell?

I sluggishly arose from the cold floor and managed to get to my trembling feet. I cupped the wounded side of my face to subdue the agonizing pain. I looked around the living room in bewilderment to find no sign of Declan anywhere. Maybe he went to sleep. How long have I been here? I looked at the digital clock on the microwave. 2:14am.

I called out to him, but in return I received no answer. All the lights were on and the television had been turned off. I felt lost and confused. Feeling a moment of uneasiness, I decided to get out of there.

The streets were almost at a pitch black as I drove down the streets. The suburban part of Belle Harbor apparently did not believe in street lamps. I hated this damn city. The very thought of it frustrated me to no end. The dog shelter was getting no business and my funds were starting to rapidly dwindle. My life was in no way near where I wanted it to be and I hated it. I’d been here all my life and never gotten anywhere where as Declan has had everything dropped into his lap. That bastard could go anywhere and be anything if he wanted to. But no. He chose to be with Bridgeport’s Black Widow’s daughters. The heirs to Brianne Willows’ fortune. What was it about those Willow sisters? You’d think by the way Declan goes ape shit over them that their vaginas were made out of gold! What did they inhere anyway, her psychotic charm? Anyone who would be interested in the child of a serial killer has to be crazy. I guess birds of a feather really do flock together.

I woke up in a sea of sweat and immediately emerged out of bed. My chest rapidly rising and falling with the quick beats of my heart. Another nightmare preyed upon my vulnerable state of mind. It was a daily thing now and I couldn’t take it much longer. It had been damn near a month and I was still being haunted by my actions. I stood at my bedroom window and looked out onto the deserted street. Not a single car in sight. I thought about last night’s visit with Declan. I didn’t have that much to drink, did I? I thought long and hard, trying to figure out how I ended up a bloody mess on his kitchen floor.

And then it hit me. He knew. He had to have known. There was no other reason why he would have done this to me. “Dammit!” I yelled, punching a hole in the thinly cheap wall with my fist. I paced the floor of my bedroom in a panic. What am I going to do? Everyone will know. Ugh, why the hell did I have to do that?! I was being tormented for my actions and I suddenly realized that my life would never be the same again. Everyone will know and I’ll go to prison. “I’d rather die before I ever go back there!” I had a handsome face and I was certain I would end up being someone’s bitch before noon the first day.

Grief-stricken, I walked out onto my balcony and looked out over the ocean of lights of Belle Harbor. It was beautiful I must admit. Why haven’t I ever noticed before? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. I was a loser like I had always been and now a rapist. I sighed and closed my eyes. I relished in the warm breeze that danced all around me as the coolness of the metal railing loosened my tight grip. The silence of the night was soothing and I felt my aching muscles relax. It wasn’t until I saw a hawk swoop swiftly down by the dumpsters below to scavenge the grounds for food when I finally realized what I needed to do. I didn’t belong here anymore. I didn’t belong anywhere. I would never be happy with my life no matter where I was. For as long as I live, the nightmares, the haunting thoughts…they were always going to be there. I knew I  couldn’t live with what I’ve done. So I have to do what is right.

I laid there for what seemed to be hours. I could feel blood oozing out onto the concrete, leaving my body to feel cold. I shivered as the night became colder and all I could see was the bottoms of the dumpsters. A raccoon nestled itself in a corner as it cautiously watched me with wide eyes. The concrete was cool against my cheek and the pain that overtook my entire body soon became numb. I could no longer feel my body. I could no longer see. I could no longer live.

I had to do what was right.

1.6 About That Night

The eyes on the Sims may be a little off because I changed to a different default. I think it made Declan’s eyes green instead of the brown it once was. Strange, but I like it just the same.

Credit: The poses used in this chapter are the Don’t Be Sad, Baby posepack by IMHO and Fear Posepack by Akuiyumi. Both poses can be found in the Credits page.

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Dink! Dink! Dink!

The only thing keeping me from vomiting up my intestines was me focusing on the loud sounds of the raindrops splashing against the metal drain pipes. My stomach ached with a gut-wrenching pain as I sat on the cold tile floor and leaned against the wood-paneled wall. I rested my flushed face in the palms of my hands and sobbed. How did my life end up like this? What did I do to deserve this? Was I that much of a bad person to deserve so much hatred? My entire journey flashed quickly in my head as I saw my mother’s evil grin, my father’s lifeless body in a pool of his own blood, and Blair’s eyes glaring down at me.

Wait, what? It was then I suddenly remembered something from that night. Blair’s eyes glaring down at me. The background was dark and I couldn’t see anything else. I lowered my gaze down to the blue tiles that cascaded across the bathroom floor and tried to remember that night. I was drunk and he took me home. Then I woke up the next morning and felt as if I were hit by a Mac-10 truck.

Then it hit me again. “Oh my god,” I whispered to myself.

My memory of that night quickly hit me all at once as if I had stood in the middle of a two-lane highway full of oncoming traffic. It was the morning after he took me home…After I had woken up feeling sore all over…When I went into the bathroom and decided to take a shower…I didn’t notice it then, but I realized it now that I didn’t have on any underwear.

The very thought that I had been violated made my stomach wrench in pain once more causing me to scramble to the toilet to release my intestines again. My knees felt weak and shook as I slowly arose from the cold floor and stood in front of the mirror. The color from my face had gone and I was beginning to feel lightheaded. I needed to get out and I needed to do it fast.

The air was cool as it brushed lightly against my warm skin. I visited the river across the way from my home and stood at the foot of the bank. The water looked inviting as the sunlight danced upon the waters. I daydreamed of the day that everything would be normal for me again, even though I knew it was only wishful thinking. Nothing about my life is normal nor will it ever will be. My stomach groaned loudly and I could feel the hollowness inside. Seeing that I just upchucked everything I ever ate in life, I wasn’t surprised. But the idea of eating at a time like this was out of the question. I wanted nothing more but to just die right now.

Daylight broke as the nighttime evaded the skies. I hadn’t acknowledged the nightfall until I heard footsteps coming from behind. Declan. The crunch of the autumn leaves he walked upon showed the pattern of his walk. I can always tell when he’s approaching me.

“Corrina? I thought I saw you over here. Are you okay? I’ve been calling you for the past hour.” He stood a couple of feet away from me as if he were afraid to come any closer in fear I would snap at him. But all I could do was nod my head as I kept my gaze out onto the river. “What’s wrong? Why are you just standing out here like this?”

“What is this, Twenty Questions?” I shut my eyes and lowered my head in anger. I don’t know why I was getting angry. It wasn’t his fault. I just wanted to be left alone.

Declan stepped closer to me and continued to stare into my eyes. I spun on my heels and faced him. “What do you want, Declan? Why do you keep staring at me? Why are you even here? Just leave me alone!”

“No. I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” I could see the concern growing in his eyes by the second. He wasn’t use to me acting this way and I didn’t blame him for worrying. Usually I always spoken to him about my problems, but this time, it was much harder. This time, I didn’t want to admit it. Not out loud.

I sighed in defeat and shifted my eyes to the ground. Something I was good at when I wanted to avoid eye contact. How do I tell my best friend this kind of news, especially when the news involved one of his friends? “There’s something that I have to tell you,” I said. “I just don’t know how to tell you.”

“Just tell me,” he replied warmly. I stood for a minute in silence trying to figure out a way to break the news to him. Declan rose his hand towards the grass. “Why don’t we sit and talk, huh?” I nodded slightly and we sat next to each other on the cool green grass.

“You remember the morning you came over with Brook for the first time?” I asked. Declan nodded. “Well, remember when I had mentioned that I was really achy and I thought it was from all the alcohol I consumed the night before?”

“Corrina, just tell me,” he said softly.

“Well since then, I’ve been throwing up a lot. Pretty much every day. I don’t remember when the last time I had a period. And today, while I was puking my insides out, I suddenly remembered that the next morning when I went to take a shower, that I didn’t have any underwear on.” I paused to gather my scattered thoughts. Declan looked at me in confusion. “Declan, Blair attacked me that night…and I think I might be pregnant because of it.” Declan’s eyes narrowed as he look out onto the river. “I couldn’t remember anything because I might have passed out from all the alcohol.”

Declan hung his head and sat in silence for what seemed like eternity. Then without warning, he gently placed his hand upon mine and without taking one look at me, he said, “I’ll kill him.”

Declan quickly arose to his feet and started heading towards the street. I immediately went after him. “What are you going to do?” I asked.

 “I’m going to kill him.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Why not? He can’t just get away with hurting you!” Declan’s eyes narrowed with anger and his lips pressed tightly together as he kept walking to the road.

“Because you’ll be just like my mother! Besides, I need you!” As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, we both stopped dead in our tracks. He turned towards me with a look of astonishment on his face. What the hell are you doing, you dumbass?! Take it back! Take it back right now! “I mean…You’re my best friend. You’re all I have. And if you get arrested I won’t ever see you again.” Nice save. I never knew anyone wanting to put their life into  jeopardy for me and seeing Declan so enraged on my behalf was a little bit of a turn on. He genuinely cared about me and I was starting to see that now. Would it be so bad if I did allow something to happen between us?

Declan looked out onto the streets as if he were contemplating life or death. I came up closer to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, hoping that I could calm him down and prevent him from doing something stupid. He gave me a small smile as he turned to look at me. Then before I knew it, he turned towards me and pulled me into his arms. My body went limp in his arms and I knew he noticed it because then his embrace became tighter. “I need you, too,” he said, burrowing his face into my shoulder.

I found myself not wanting to let go of him and with everything that had been going on, it was perfectly comforting. I felt safe around him and I knew he would never intentionally try to hurt me. But as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t let him fall in love with me. I would only end up disappointing him like I did with everyone else in my life.

“It’s getting late…and cold,” he chuckled after letting me go from his warm embrace. “Let’s get you home.” I agreed and he walked me across the street to my house. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked once we were inside.

I nodded reassuringly. “I’ll be fine.” Declan gazed into my eyes and smiled. He insisted he would call once he got home to make sure I was alright. I agreed, knowing how concerned he was for me. It was endearing. Almost endearing enough to tell him how I truly felt about him. But instead, I pressed my lips together to keep the words from rushing out while I watched him walk towards his car. I can’t keep destroying everyone I love. Otherwise he’ll end up like both my father and my sister. Dead.

1.5 Life’s Little Lessons

WARNING: This chapter has a couple of curse words and very brief nudity. I mean you can’t even see anything.

Note: Again, I apologize for the delay. This chapter is long and a little wordy, but it explains some things. Since I haven’t been feeling well, I feel like my writing isn’t up to par. So I’m not 100% satisfied with it, but I hope you all enjoy anyways. I promise the next update will be better.

Pissed wasn’t even the word to describe what was going on in my mind right now. I couldn’t believe Declan hadn’t told me about Brook’s existence. I thought I knew him better than that, but this obviously proved otherwise. Why would he keep such an important secret from me? Especially since that secret has everything to do with me! The unsettling thoughts continuously swirled around in my head, leaving me with a heavy desire to drink.

I waited patiently in the backseat of the cab as it slowly came to a complete stop. I could hear the thumping sounds of the loud music when I opened up the passenger door. I watched as people scurried in and out of the building dressed in their formal-casual attire. I thanked the cab driver as I handed him the fare and stepped out of the vehicle. Smoke poured out of exhaust pipes as running vehicles in the small parking lot adjacent to the building indicated that it was a cold night. I sighed and rubbed my arms as if rubbing them were going to make the cold chills away. I then realized that all I brought with me was a secondhand dress from a thrift shop and drink money. Nice. Not only are you going to be broke after tonight, but you’re going to get yourself sick on top of it all too.

The place was nicely dimmed by a blue fluorescent light. The loud music had ceased and suddenly a jazzy melody filled the air. The woman at the piano pressed the ivory keys with passion as she lost herself in the melodic trance. I couldn’t help but to take it all in. I had never been to a lounge before, and although it was a nice atmosphere, it wasn’t a place a person would normally find me in. I was perfectly content being a homebody, which was something I wanted to do more than anything right now, but I couldn’t just leave before Blair arrived. It was his idea afterall. Blair. Where was he?

I took a seat at the bar and waited for the bartender to finish serving another woman who suggested to be more depressed than I did at the moment. By the amount of bars and lounges in the city, it seemed as if all of Belle Harbor had a habit of chasing their sorrows and woes with Vodka. With all of the horrible shit in the world, I wasn’t surprised. After years of neglect and abuse and being pushed around from foster home to foster home,  It was a shock that I didn’t grow up to be a heroin addict myself.

“What can I get you, pretty lady?” asked the bartender. He stood tall and had a mile-wide smile. I looked blankly all around the bar.

“Uhhh…I don’t know. What do you have?” I asked, hoping the big red sign on my forehead that read ‘Newbie’ wasn’t glowing too brightly.

The bartender smiled satisfactorily and immediately got to work. Within seconds, he whipped up a blue concoction in a martini glass and placed it in front of me. “Here you go,” he smiled. The blue concoction looked too pretty to drink, but I took a sip of it anyways. The sweet taste trickled down my throat as a warm sensation grew in my stomach and soon after, all over my body. I was completely content with the choice of beverage, so I took another sip; this time, a little bigger than the last.

Nine o’clock? Oh shit! The realization that I had been sitting at the bar and drank three of the mysterious blue concoction had hit me suddenly. I scanned all around the blue-lit lounge for Blair only to find no sign of him anywhere. I shifted on the cold hard wooden stool, suddenly realizing its discomfort. My knees shook profusely as I arose and I could feel the room spinning in slow motion. I grabbed a hold of the countertop and waited for my knees to stop wobbling. Once the room stopped spinning, I slowly made my way to the barren dance floor and watched as the pianist continued on with her jazz ensembles.

“May I have this dance?” whispered an all too familiar voice from behind. I turned around to find Blair standing behind me with a goofy grin on his face.

“I was beginning to think you forgot about me,” I said.

“Oh, I could never forget about you.” He took a step backwards and extended his hand out to me. “Shall we?” I didn’t really feel like dancing, but I didn’t want to embarrass him either by rejecting his proposal in front of everyone. I nodded politely and took his hand. As he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me closer to him, I could feel his warm breath dancing against my neck. The scent of masculine cologne filled my nostrils, stimulating the very core of my being. I admit I didn’t want this dance to end, but I knew at some point it had to. Allowing someone into my life like this would be a regret that I didn’t want to live with. Even though he knew the real me, every mistake always has its consequences and this somehow told me that this is exactly what it would be. A mistake.

“I have to go.” The words just sort of slipped out before I was even finished gathering my thoughts together. Blair looked up at me, surprised at my slurred, but sudden outburst. “I’m sorry, Blair. I just…I can’t do this.” I unclenched my hands from his and stepped backwards to indicate the dance was over. I could feel myself discombobulated from the alcohol and everything was starting to not make sense anymore.

“What did I do?” Bewilderment expanded all across his face.

“Nothing, it’s just that…I need to lie down,” I said. It was true; I did need to lie down. Desperately.

“Well I can take you home, if–“

“No! It’s fine. I’ll be okay. I’ll just call a cab.”

“That’s stupid, Corrina. My car is just outside. Come on, let me take you home.”

I sighed in defeat when I glanced in my purse to see only a couple of dollars inside. Knowing that wasn’t going to be enough for cab fare, I nodded and agreed to let him take me home.

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The bright sunlight shone vibrantly through the living room windows as they stabbed my eyeballs with much force. My eyes felt heavy and my head was pounding as I arose in an upright position on the couch; still clothed in the dress I wore at the lounge from the last night. What happened last night? I had no recollection at all. I scanned all around the living room in search for something to help me remember last night events, but all I found was my television set apparently broken as smoke rapidly came out of it. Well that’s lovely. I rolled my eyes and let out a yawn as I stretched my arms out into the air. The last thing I needed was another expense.

I arose from the couch and all of a sudden felt a struck of pain attack my entire body. I felt as if I had exercised for hours on end, but I knew that hadn’t happened. What did happen? I went to the lounge, I drank at the bar, I danced with Blair, and then I went home…Nothing out of the ordinary stuck out in my memory. Thinking that maybe I just had too much to drink, I decided to take a shower to wash all of the bar smoke out of my hair.

The hot water felt good against my skin. I lathered shampoo and conditioner in my hair and massaged my head, feeling the pain in my head slowly subsiding. I stayed in the shower for almost a half hour before I started to feel a little bit better. I was still achy all over and I assumed I would be for awhile.

I placed on some comfortable clothing and managed to get something in my stomach. By the way I was feeling, you would have thought I had been in a car wreck, but there were no scrapes or bruises to show that I was in any serious harm. I was about to cuddle up on the couch and read a book as I always did whenever I wasn’t feeling well when I heard the loud vibrations of my phone. Declan. Great, just what I needed right now. I decided to go against my better judgement and answered the call anyway. “Hey Declan,” I greeted unenthusiastically.

“Hey,” he replied softly as if he knew he was in trouble. “Haven’t heard from you in a few days. Is everything okay?”

No. “Yes, I’m okay. Just been really tired, that’s all.”

There was a brief pause over the phone and then I heard him exhale with exasperation. “Corrina, there’s something I have to tell you, but I can’t tell you over the phone. Can I come over?”

I sat anxiously as I awaited for Declan to arrive. I knew what he needed to talk to me about and I was finally glad he mustered up the courage to tell me about my niece. It was only a matter of time before he ended up telling me anyways. Belle Harbor wasn’t a very big city after all.

The knock on the door forced me to snap out of my daydream. Declan’s back faced me as he stared down the road. I opened the door and immediately saw a little girl in his hands. Declan turned back around when he heard the door open. My eyes went directly to her. She had to be no more than a year old. She was without a doubt Declan’s daughter, but I could definitely recognize the features that the Willow women seem to have obtained.

I couldn’t help but to let go of my anger for that moment and smile. “Hey,” I greeted, barely above a whisper.

Declan’s eyes looked apologetic. “Hey. Can we go inside and talk?”

“So who’s this?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Declan looked down at the little girl in his arms and a smile appeared. “This is Brook. She’s my daughter. Desiree was her mother.”

“I know,” I admitted. “Blair told me. How could you not tell me something so important like this?!” I cried.

“I know, it was stupid! I’m so sorry, Corrina for not telling you.” He paused for a couple of seconds and shifted Brook in his arms. “I was ashamed.”

“Ashamed? Ashamed of what?” I asked, confused and slightly angry again.

“Truth is…I didn’t have custody of her for the longest. After Desiree committed suicide, I fell into a deep depression and lost my will to live. Except that my attempts weren’t as successful as Desiree’s was and I ended up in rehab for awhile while Brook went to live with my mom. It was in there that I realized that I had something worth living for. She was apart of me and Desiree and were the only thing I had left. So when I got out, I got better and proved to be a fit parent again. I just got her back a month ago. I didn’t tell you about her at first because I was ashamed of myself. I failed her as a father and I couldn’t find myself admitting that to you or anyone for that matter.”

“So what made you change your mind if you were too ashamed to tell me about my own niece?”

“I knew you deserved to know and I didn’t want to lie to you anymore. I care a lot about you, Corrina. I didn’t want our friendship to be based off of lies. Besides Brook, you’re all I have.”

Damn that man for making me blush! I smiled at Brook as she sat in her father’s arms, completely unaware of what was going on at the moment. She had Declan’s mouth and chin and must have had Desiree’s eye color since neither Declan or myself had those beautiful deep brown eyes. If it wasn’t for the almond shaped eyes and the golden blonde hair, I wouldn’t have known she was my sister’s.

I walked over to the couch and sat down when I began to feel my legs ache. I grimaced with pain as he sat Brook down on the floor and sat beside me. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

I nodded and forced a smile. “I think I had too much to drink last night because I woke up so achy today.”

Declan frowned. “I don’t think that’s what alcohol does to you; even with a hangover. Where did you go to drink?”

“The Lizard Lounge. It’s a blues and jazz lounge Blair suggested us going to.”

“You went with Blair?” I nodded and then asked why when I saw the disapproved expression on his face. “Nothing. It’s just that he can be trouble sometimes. Sort of like a lady’s man, you know?”

“Ah, thanks for the tip,” I replied. “But I don’t think I’m ready for anything like that anyways.

“Oh,” he said as he frowned again, this time looking confused.

“What now?” I asked again.

“It’s just that…I thought you two were together.”

“What made you think that?” I asked, almost chuckling at the thought. Not that Blair wasn’t my type physically, but that was just it. He was only physically my type. I didn’t know anything about him to make a decision to go out with him or not.

“Because that’s what he told me.”

1.4 The Brook Amongst the Willows

WARNING: This chapter has like…one curse word in it. LOL

Note: I am so sorry for this long overdue update! I actually was prepared to post last week, but after I took the pictures, I looked in my Fraps folder to find there were no pictures. So I think oh stupid me forgot to turn Fraps on. So I go back in game the next day to retake the pictures, but when I went in the Fraps folder again, there still weren’t any pictures! I’m not sure what happened with my Fraps program, but after messing around with it for a few days, I finally got it working again. So here I am. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It’s a little short. Nothing spectacular happens and there’s a lot of dialog, but it builds up the story for the next chapter, which will be posted in a couple of days. 🙂

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Five o’clock in the evening could not have come faster. I was up to my ears with suds and wet dogs and I’m pretty sure the last time I had feeling in my pruned fingertips was around noon. In spite of my misery, I enjoyed being around all of the furry four-legged creatures. I didn’t have to worry about impressing them or finding the right words to say. They didn’t judge me for who I am because of the sins of my mother. They didn’t take offense if I messed up or became frustrated with them. Nothing was forever with dogs. So why couldn’t humans be like that?

“Okay, Lady; you’re all clean.” Lady, the precocious two year old mutt, eagerly hopped out of the tub and shook the excess water off her body. After drying her off, I placed her back inside her kennel and began to feed the dogs for the night.

“You’re getting the hang of this,” said Blair proudly as he did his nightly role call of all the canines.

I smiled and nodded with self-satisfaction. “I’m starting to, yes.” Blair smiled and I instantly forgot my next task at hand. Clean the kennels, you idiot! I shot him a quick smile in return and swiftly grabbed the damp mop that never seemed to have a chance to dry and began to mop each dirty kennel. Secretly wishing he would lose interest in the art of conversation and go back to doing role call, I kept my focus on the cleanliness of the kennels. He must have thought I had a major case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I was determined to keep the coy smiles and the curious eye gazing to a minimum.

I just about finished mopping the last kennel when I saw Blair step outside for a smoke. His routine every night when he was done with his job and wanted to go home. A sigh of relief escaped from my lips as I set the wet mop back down in its corner, grabbed my purse, and stepped out. “All finished in there?” he asked, puffing on his cigarette.

“Yeah. Everything’s been swept and mopped; all the dogs have been bathed and fed; and everything’s been put away,” I said, a little proud of the simple accomplishments I managed to achieve.

“Well done, Stearns. Or should I say…Willows.”

“E-excuse me?” Blair glanced at me sideways with a tiny smirk on his lips. I looked at him with widened eyes and I could feel the color slowly washing away from my pale face. If a ghost had walked right past him, I probably wouldn’t had even noticed.

“It’s okay, Corrina,” he said reassuringly. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“Why are you calling me that?” I asked sharply.

“That’s your last name, isn’t it?” I began to open my mouth to deny the truth, but then quickly decided against it. There was no point in trying to hide it now. He knew the truth somehow and the very thought of someone else knowing who I really am made my stomach churn. “Relax.” He chuckled and puffed on his cigarette once more. “You look too much like her. Desiree. The resemblance is actually quite uncanny. When you first stepped through my doors, I seriously thought I was seeing her ghost.”

I rolled my eyes and shifted my gaze to the row of trees that swayed gently with the wind across the street. “Declan told you, didn’t he?”

“Not until I beated it out of him first,” he replied casually. A contemptuous smile arose from his flawless face. For a split second, I had the sudden urge to slap him clear across his cheeky face, but I assumed it was my anxiety-stricken hormones going amuck once again. “I’m sorry; it’s just that he can’t keep a secret for shit.”

“You make him sound so senseless,” I said, feeling a little insulted on behalf of my friend.

“No, not at all. In fact, he’s a really intelligent guy!” He paused for a moment as he puffed on the half of an inch of cigarette that was left scorching in-between his fingers. “Well anyway, it’s good to finally meet you, Corrina. Declan told me about you, but I couldn’t believe it.”

“Why, were you expecting me to be a psychopathic hermit?” I frowned.

“No. I meant that I couldn’t believe that you were in town.” Blair returned the frowned expression. “Declan is really fond of you, you know. It’s been really rough on him since he lost Desiree.” This time, his expression went soft as he stared down at the ground.

“Yeah, he told me about that. I feel really bad for him.”

“I feel bad for you too. I mean she was your sister after all.”

“I never knew her,” I said slowly. My eyes burned as tears seek to pour down my pale cheeks. I turned around not wanting him to see me cry. “I didn’t even know she existed until a week ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Blair’s words were barely above a whisper.

I shifted my eyes down the street past Blair and focused on the vastness of the mountains. Its beauty was the only thing that kept me calm at the moment and I was truly grateful. The last thing I wanted to do was to make a fool out of myself in front of my boss.

I was feeling bad for myself also. Growing up with a sister probably would have made my life a little easier. Especially in times such as these when I needed her the most in my state of confusion, sadness, and anger. But I was yet robbed once more of another family member caused by the actions of my heinous mother once again. “You wouldn’t happen to have a picture of her, would you?” I was desperate to know what she had looked like. I wanted to see the look on her face and know that she was happy and not constantly tormented by visions of her afflicted childhood.

Blair pressed his lips together and shook his head. “But I know Declan has some.” His voice grew happily as if he had a brilliant idea. “He keeps them all in a box for Brook.”

“Brook? Who’s Brook?” I asked as I frowned at the unfamiliar name.

“Brook is Desiree and Declan’s daughter.”

1.3 Truth and Consequences

WARNING: This chapter has a very small amount of profanity, so be advised.

Credit: The poses included in this chapter are Don’t Be Sad, Baby! PosePack by IMHO, Fear Poses by Akuiyumi, Chatting Pose by deggdegg, and Couples’ Couch Poses by FairsteadSims.

Note: Thanks for all your lovely comments. They were greatly appreciated. This chapter is fairly long and begins to build the plot of the story as well as tell a little bit of the history. I hope you enjoy the chapter and I look forward to hearing what you all think!

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2 Months Later…

Cold shivers covered every inch of my body like a heavy blanket as I quickly sat up in bed and looked around the room in a blurry daze. Another nightmare haunted my slumber as usual, causing me to wake up in a pool of my own sweat. I looked out the windows above my bed and noticed it was still a little dark outside. The sun had just started to peak its way through the hills, creating a reddish-orange glow in the early morning sky.

It was Monday. Blah. The one day out of the week where everyone shared a common hatred for the acclaimed stressful weekday. I already wanted this day to be over, but wishful thinking never got me anywhere. I sleepily arose from my bed and stretched before heading into the kitchen to prepare a cup of coffee. I stood there vacantly staring at the coffee maker as the noise vibrated the counter tops. I silently griped at the thought of going into work today. I hated my job. I hated everything about it. There was nobody in this screwed up world that could convince me that serving stale coffee and day-old crappy muffins is rewarding in any kind of way.

The coffee machine let out a boisterous beeping sound indicating that it was done brewing. The aroma of freshly ground coffee filled the air, sending my senses into a frenzy. I sat at the counter and happily took sips from the warm mug that I held in my hands and relished in my newly remodeled home. Even though I still had a lot to get, I was unquestionably grateful for Declan and his skilled hands as a carpenter and for the man at the thrift shop who took pity on me, practically gifting me all of the furnishings needed.

After finishing my coffee, I wandered aimlessly over to my old wooden desk and sat down. My mind immediately drifted over to Declan and a smile instantly found its way upon my face. He had been such a big help these past couple of months that I was becoming very fond of him. But nothing would happen. I didn’t come to Belle Harbor to meet anybody. I came to escape from the past and start a new life without any drama. Is that even possible?

While the morning glow slowly faded away and the afternoon clouds took precedence upon the sky, I decided to get myself together and look for jobs online at the library. In the middle of brushing my hair, a loud ring chimed from the front door. Declan stood on the other side of the glass-plated double doors and I involuntarily let out a slight gasp. I desperately hated the fact that my heart felt like it would literally go into overdrive every time I saw him. Taking a deep breath, I answered the door.

“Hey,” he greeted sleepily through a yawn. “Are you still looking for a job?”

“You mean other than the shitty one that I have now? Yes, why?”

“Well, I have this friend. He owns a dog rescue shelter and he could use the help if you’re interested.”

“Is this the one off of Jersey Avenue?” Declan nodded. “I know where that is. Tell him I’ll be there shortly.”

“Okay, will do.” Declan started towards the door but then turned around abruptly. His eyes no longer sad and he smiled his genuinely warm smile he often does when he’s satisfied with something. “Thanks, Corrina. This will mean a lot to him. It means a lot to me too.”

A sheepish grinned spilled across my face and I could feel my cheeks burning. He waved goodbye and gently closed the door behind him, leaving me to stare blankly at where he once stood.

*********

Belle Harbor Dog Rescue Shelter was located quite a distance from my house. The drive alone took a couple of hours, but my anxiousness alone made the traveling quicker. I walked through the glass doors and was immediately greeted with the odor of wet dogs. Better get use to this. “Down boy!” I heard a man say; his deep raspy voice echoing throughout the building. The shelter was a little small, but had a descent amount of kennels that lined up in a row on both sides of the long turquoise hallway ahead.

“Hey there! You must be Corrina.” A man who appeared to be in his early thirties came out from one of the kennels and approached me with his hand extended out for me to shake. “Declan told me you’re looking for a change in careers.”

“I highly doubt serving coffee in a low budget coffee shop is a career, but yes, I’m looking for something better.” He laughed and nodded his head in agreement.

He was cute. Better than cute; he was terribly handsome and I was in trouble.  I desperately needed this job, but would I be able to control myself around him? Declan was one thing, but this guy was on a whole other level. I had to learn to control myself. I was inexperienced and now that I was on my own in this unsettling world we called home, it was up to me to stay away from trouble. Even if trouble was a hot guy who worked in a rescue dog shelter.

“Well, my name is Blair Hardy. And you are?”

“Corrina Stearns.”

Blair smiled as if he found my name to be amusing. “Nice to meet you, Corrina. When can you start?”

I was taken aback by his urgency. Either he was extremely eager to get some help or he really found me to be more amusing than I thought. “I can be here tomorrow if you’d like.”

Blair nodded. “Great I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Driving back to the house, I wondered about ways to tell my job that I was quitting. I never had to quit a job before and the thought of disappointing someone made me ill to my stomach.

Declan stood in front of his truck as I pulled into my driveway. He gave me a wave as he walked towards me, crossing the street. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to work,” I said. Honestly, I was kind of glad he came by. I didn’t have much money to go out nor any other sources of entertainment but the television.

“I got off early. I thought I’d stop by and see how everything went.” He pulled on a sweatshirt and followed me to the front porch.

When we went inside, I hastily made my way over to the couch. I was feeling tired from the drive, dreading the fact that it was something that I had to get use to. Declan followed and sat down beside me. I began to tell him about how it went and when Blair said I would start. Declan said he was happy for me. Something I was not use to hearing. It felt good knowing that somebody out there cared for you.

“Corrina, there’s something I have to tell you.” Declan’s voice went low and shook with his words. He looked down at his hands as he thought of the right words to say. His facial expression was suddenly solemn.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I searched his eyes as they became saddened again.

He took a deep breath and sighed. “You have a sister.”

“What? What do you mean I have a sister? How is that even possible? I was their only child!” I felt my heart pound a million times per minute. This time not because of Declan, but because of more lies and secrets that had been hidden from me. Typical mother of mine.

“Before she had you and before she was with your father, she was with a guy name Tony Williams–her father. He got her pregnant, but didn’t know about it until he found the used pregnancy test in the trash one day. He told her that he didn’t want anything to do with the baby and that if she decided to keep it, he would leave. Well, since she was well into the pregnancy by the time he found out about it, she decided to give her up for adoption instead. So she did. Her adopted parents moved into a house next door to your mother because she wanted to be able to see her grow up. But she never spoke to her. She could barely look at her. I guess it was too much for her because one day, she up and left.

When she looked for her again, she was eighteen years old. Your mother was living in Belle Harbor here in this house. I was living in the house I live in now. Desiree–that’s her name–came by her house one day to get some answers. Your mom just looked right through her and acted as if she never knew her. I guess the pain of rejection was too much for Desiree because that night, she ended up swallowing an entire bottle of pain killers and died in her sleep.”

Declan released a long-awaited sigh and sat forward on the couch. I felt bad for getting upset. Even more, I felt bad for Desiree.  What if she never wanted to know the truth? Would she have still been alive? I was beginning to wonder if telling the truth was worth dealing with some of the consequences that can come along with it. Dealing with secrets and lies did seem much easier after all. But then how would anything get resolved? It was a nasty catch-22 that I never wanted to be apart of, but I knew it would end up finding me someday. “How did you find all of this out?” I asked, puzzled.

Declan paused for a moment and then said, “Her adopted parents told me. She was my girlfriend.”

I gasped. “I’m sorry, Declan. That must have been so hard for you.”

Declan shook his head. “Not as hard as how your guys’ life went. I don’t know what’s worse; being abandoned by your mother and then be rejected years later or living with your mother and being ignored by her.” I hung my head and frowned, feeling the hurt and anguish rise up inside of me all over again. Declan scooted closer to me and placed his hand over mine. “I won’t abandon you, Corrina. I promise.” I looked up into his eyes and saw his pain. He then reached over and gently kissed my forehead. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.